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Feb. 24th, 2006 05:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
raynebowrangerI don't know why, but I'm feeling so fucking down right now, it really sucks, I keep feeling like I want to cry for no reason at all.
I feel really isolated and out of the loop ;.; I don't want to feel like this. I feel like people I thought of as real close friends don't actually like me that much, they find me annoying and just tolerate me to avoid drama - maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but it's how I feel right about now.
SD is so quiet right now, it also makes me sad, it was so lively and fun and now it's almost dead, I love playing there and I love the people there, I don't want to see it die ;.; at FFH I feel so out of the group, it's like I totally don't fit in with the Muns, I mean they're all nice to me and everything, I just feel like an outsider like the box is here [box] and I'm like ...... over here o|-< <--me
I need a good fucking cry and a great big hug ... I can do the crying but the hug'll be pretty hard unless I ask my mum later!
Still not sure where the whole thing with Tom is going... He still says he wants to visit in a few weeks, and he's been asking me what we'd be doing. He wants to walk around the village just doing nothing like when we were at school & college. I know he wants sex with me, we've even gone as far to talk (via sms) about contraception, he's not really keen of condoms but would use them, since the only other option for me is a coil - I suck at remembering to take tablets and the injection makes me sick as a dog!! Mum says I shouldn't sleep with him this time, then if he comes down again it is more likely to show he's not just after sex. If he does come down, it'll be so hard not to sleep with him, he makes my hormones crazy - the guy can almost make me come just by giving me a hug for god sake!! But I guess until I actually see him in person I don't know what will happen!!
In better news, I'm getting closer to finish my everlasting pile of Dataplates for my dad, thank God!! No idea how many records I've had to enter into the database this week!! I guess it's what I get for letting them build up in the folder!
YAY Cat should be home soon!! I can't wait to talk to her online, maybe I'll feel happier then!! I've missed her these past 3 months!! Maybe when she gets back, SD will pick up a little bit, I hope so anyway!!
Finally got around to preordering Advent Children today from Amazon, costing £14.99 which is pretty good ^_^ I also bought a hot bra off ebay LOL - I love ebay for bras! Brand new with tags and so much cheaper than stores that cater for the larger lady, and prettier too!! I also bought some new knickers but they're not sexy, just plain ol' briefs for work!
I feel really isolated and out of the loop ;.; I don't want to feel like this. I feel like people I thought of as real close friends don't actually like me that much, they find me annoying and just tolerate me to avoid drama - maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but it's how I feel right about now.
SD is so quiet right now, it also makes me sad, it was so lively and fun and now it's almost dead, I love playing there and I love the people there, I don't want to see it die ;.; at FFH I feel so out of the group, it's like I totally don't fit in with the Muns, I mean they're all nice to me and everything, I just feel like an outsider like the box is here [box] and I'm like ...... over here o|-< <--me
I need a good fucking cry and a great big hug ... I can do the crying but the hug'll be pretty hard unless I ask my mum later!
Still not sure where the whole thing with Tom is going... He still says he wants to visit in a few weeks, and he's been asking me what we'd be doing. He wants to walk around the village just doing nothing like when we were at school & college. I know he wants sex with me, we've even gone as far to talk (via sms) about contraception, he's not really keen of condoms but would use them, since the only other option for me is a coil - I suck at remembering to take tablets and the injection makes me sick as a dog!! Mum says I shouldn't sleep with him this time, then if he comes down again it is more likely to show he's not just after sex. If he does come down, it'll be so hard not to sleep with him, he makes my hormones crazy - the guy can almost make me come just by giving me a hug for god sake!! But I guess until I actually see him in person I don't know what will happen!!
In better news, I'm getting closer to finish my everlasting pile of Dataplates for my dad, thank God!! No idea how many records I've had to enter into the database this week!! I guess it's what I get for letting them build up in the folder!
YAY Cat should be home soon!! I can't wait to talk to her online, maybe I'll feel happier then!! I've missed her these past 3 months!! Maybe when she gets back, SD will pick up a little bit, I hope so anyway!!
Finally got around to preordering Advent Children today from Amazon, costing £14.99 which is pretty good ^_^ I also bought a hot bra off ebay LOL - I love ebay for bras! Brand new with tags and so much cheaper than stores that cater for the larger lady, and prettier too!! I also bought some new knickers but they're not sexy, just plain ol' briefs for work!
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